white sheets, white glow
the smell of fresh laundry
can get suffocating
i suppose
when you're around it for long enough
the warm breeze only makes it worse
i forgot what it feels like
for heat to make pungent
everything you thought you
were you all right with.
i'd have helped you hang up the linens
all white, all clean
all translucent,
saluting the sky
blanching for all.
but today i can't bring myself
to salute the sky with both arms
today i can't see this clothesline
without it reminding me that
it ends somewhere
this thin wire so taut
yet not unbreakable.
cruel reminder of
wistful things.
betrayal isn't white
that's not the color that i would use to describe it
but there are shades of grey
in how we nurse ourselves back to health
i suppose i find broken men
because i see a flame
and dare myself to get burned
run back with tears when
the writing on the wall
peels back
and comes true
i suppose i find love to be a false prophet
i called the bluff
i think i'm winning
i smile resolute, pockmarked beyond repair
i think i can talk on the phone for 24 hours a day if i could
and i still wouldn't be filled
i have wondered where in this city i could go scream
without someone sounding the alarm
i feel like my heart has been pulled out of my chest
and all i want to do is die.
the linen used to feel soft beneath me
but with time its abrasions have emerged.
white is a color of renewal, of innocence:
that's the textbook answer.
today it is blinding.
tenminutethoughts 