I would probably pack a bag and travel the world. It’s ironic, because I have very little wanderlust and yet I want to do that. I guess I want to see what’s out there, what else there is to worry about, what else there is to be happy about. I suppose I want an escape, some clear way of realizing that this is the next chapter of my life.
I wouldn’t go backpacking though. Because as much as I would love this rite of passage and start living in hostels and using public bathrooms, I can’t fathom that. I don’t know why. Honestly, I’m silently laughing at myself that I have such “high expectations” but I cannot compromise that. I just can’t.
I would like to visit the United States. I would like to see Alabama and Tennessee; I want to see the South. I want to go to Florida again and meander along a long stretch of highway, just to feel the hot air, that unforgiving sun, and just bask in this extreme weather that I could never call my own. I want to visit California and Oregon and Washington; I want to explore the rainforests and lay along a beach strip that’s only known by the locals. I want to walk, I want to run, I want to stand still and close my eyes.
I want to stop worrying about everything. I want it to seem insignificant, I want to rise above it all. I know I am human but I want to be invincible. And frankly, I’m okay with knowing I can’t do everything, but that won’t stop me from trying. I want to travel the Great Walls of China, visit South Africa and see it for myself, and the storied places that have been quietly mentioned in War & Peace. I want to be cultured on my own accord, explore the world in a way that is unconventional, I want to write, I want to breathe, I want to listen, I want to live.
I want to do it alone though. Is that odd? All these adventure that I’ve got racing through my head are experienced through my eyes only, without friends nearby. I want to venture this journey alone, is that bold? Or is that cowardice?
So in all, I guess if I could do anything, I would leave where I am and go somewhere I am not. I would grow up. I would grow up somewhere else.